June is the month of my boy’s birth. As I write this blog, I was 28 weeks pregnant 13 years ago, looking like a weeble and peeing roughly every 45 seconds! (only a slight exaggeration)
*Note, I have NO photgraphs of me when I was pregnant as they were all on my partners phone which he accidentally left on the top of his car one day on his way to Manchester *
I had big plans for the twins I was cooking in my uterus and when my waters broke at 32 weeks I actually wasn’t thinking “OMG the babies are coming two months early”, I was thinking “At last!! I feel like I’ve been pregnant longer than an elephant” (I was only 4 weeks gone when I found out)
The reality of life for me as a mother was as far away from my expectations as I could have ever predicted. You can read more about that in The Great Divide – Me and the ‘other’ mums, Do I wish I’d known about my baby’s facial disfigurement?, What ‘not coping’ looked like for me and Dear Broken Mother.
But for today’s blog, to celebrate my boys birth month (Yes, Oliver counts down from 1st June until their birthday on 30th – it’s a joy! *rolls eyes*) I thought I would share some of the expectations verses reality of other mums as well as mine.
Aside from the trauma of my boy’s birth, I expected to be able to raise little people and still look half decent from breakfast. The reality was that I could often be found greeting the health visitor at 11am with hair like a bag of chips and breath like the back end of a dog!
I also thought that breast feeding would suck my tummy straight back in. Sadly, when my boys were 4 months old the girl at the spray tan place asked me when I was due (I DIED inside!) and before you say that 4 months is a little optimistic, let me tell you that almost 13 years later I’m still waiting and sporting what I like to describe as my ‘human bum bag’ (boke)
Thankfully, parenting is as disillusioning for others as it was for me!
Hayley ~ I expected to have that pregnancy glow that everyone talks about – in reality I just end up looking huge and knackered most of the time!
Me ~ Yes, sweaty mess. Check!
Victoria ~ Thinking that pregnancy is always a magical, fun, natural and special 9 months otherwise why would some choose to do it multiple times? Turns out the experience is different for everyone even multiple pregnancies by the same person
Me ~ Very true. No two babies are a like (even twins) and its true for pregnancies too.
Rebecca ~ I imagined how perfect my girls would get along, the perfect sisters. How they would play lovely together and my reality is breaking up fights and trying to get them to play nice!
Me ~ Ah now this was a little different for me as Harry existed in his own autistic world so my boys didn’t have the ‘perfect’ sibling relationship or the fights either. Now we have glimpses of both haha.
Joanne ~ When I was pregnant I was SO excited to be getting up to do the “night feeds” obviously I took complete advantage of the sleep I was currently getting so I had no idea how important it was until those “night feeds” ACTUALLY came around, I was sleep deprived, I needed a shower, a holiday and a good year to catch up on sleep. I’ve never had such a shock to my system!
Me ~ Night feeds are the worst!!
Hayley ~ Charlie I expected to a waddling, fat cankled mess who demolished 4000 calories a day, whilst wearing leggings and throw ing up before a 30 hr labour. In reality I didn’t have a single symptom, gained 12lb and had a 1.5 hr perfect homebirth labour. Is that too smug? *Laughs*
Me – Yes but I love you so I’m keeping it in. Plus, new preggies may need to hear that sometimes it’s better than they imagined haha.
Jen ~ I expected to have a baby sleeping in the Moses basket whilst I cleaned the house…..he never laid in the thing he hated it later alone slept in it!!
Me ~ Haha cleaned the house? Explain that one to me please x
Carla-marie ~ I imagined I would be off work, out with the pram walking miles, listening to music, having all the time in the world to have a manicure, tan etc but I often look like I have just woke from the dead! I never used to dare leave the house without make up before my son but nowadays I never leave the house with makeup.
Me ~ I’m the same! I’d love to go out looking really glam but in all honesty I cant be arsed!
Glad to know its not just me but if you’re reading this before you have a family of your own, please don’t be put off from procreating! Being a parent really is the most incredible and rewarding feeling …other than in the month that you’re counting down to their birthday. Then it can feel a bit like an endurance test. *Pours a gin*