This isn’t the baby I dreamed of
This isn’t the life I had planned
I think you have made a mistake here
I really just don’t understand
I don’t think I’m up to the job spec
A baby like this needs much more
Than a woman whose mind is a ship wreck
And a heart that is breaking and sore
But I’ll take him and give it my best shot
And hope that the love finds its way
I can’t promise the earth but I know that
I will give him my best every day
I could never have known he was gifted
With a magic unlike any other
That my soul would be mended and lifted
That he’d create such a grateful mother
I did not even see when it happened
When my heart stopped to grieve and to yearn
For a life that was never meant for me
Just one of the lessons I’d learn
Along with a new-found acceptance
That difference is hard but it’s great
That the love always comes in its own time
But for some there is just a short wait
That the things other mums take for granted
As their babies advance and grow old
Will forever be things I will cheer for
As I watch them carefully unfold
That the well-timed kind words of a mother
Who’s a stranger but walks the same path
Could give comfort as much as another
As they give hope, let me cry, help me laugh.
That I’d have days when I felt really lonely
And times when I’d sit down and cry
Moments I’d looked back on our journey
Asking how, asking when, asking why
But I’d also have days when I’d realise
That it’s fine to be apart from the rest
That a life I may never have chosen
Is now one in which I feel blessed
I would learn that I’m more than a mother
I’m a guard, advocate and a voice
And I’m not sure that I’d change life today
If I were suddenly given the choice
No, it wasn’t the baby I’d dreamed of
It wasn’t the life I had planned
But its made my life richer and brighter
And it’s now that I understand
Our babies don’t come to a parent
Who is special and chosen and tough
They come to a parent who is stubborn
and loving and will never give up
One who will fight for their children
Till they fall to their knees on the floor
But will get back again the very next day
When they realise they need to do more
One who will love so intensely
That words will just fail to explain
One who is glad of the journey
One who evolves through the pain
A parent who knows that its natural
To feel so very lost at the start
And one who will help and guide others
As they learn their new journey by heart.
If you are the mum of a child with a diagnosis and/or additional needs and you would value hearing from another mum who truly ‘gets it’ and often says what you feel too nervous to admit (plus a great community!) then sign up to my newsletter now!
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AWWW this is beautiful and so, so amazingly sweet.
I love the day to day stories about your boys. I believe they will do many greatthings
I do too. Thank you xx
Flipping heck, make me cry why don’t cha! I can relate to every line of your beautifully written poem ❤️ You and your fabulous family are amazing ??
Thank you! Sorry it made you cry lol C x
Absolutely beautiful. It perfectly expresses how I feel as the parent of a special needs child. Thank you for sharing it.❤️
Thanks so much C x
Omg I needed this, thank you so much. Your words have touched me more than you’ll ever know. For 17 years I’ve worked with children with special needs and it was just work for me, , never understood what it really meant, never took the time to understand what their difficulties were about , what their parents were going through I just did my job and went home routinely day in and day out until it happened to me and I realized what it all meant,why god had me around these special children, to understand and value what I have now, that these children need people that will care for them and advocate for them, that my purpose is to make a difference in my child’s life and the life of so many other children no matter how small it is, and in the end god wanted me to be a better person and he has accomplished that by placing my beautiful baby in my life. Who has taught me so much. humility, courage, patience she also taught me real love and the most important one she has taught me to care for others and to love others. She is here to save me, just like these special children,their purpose is also to save so many others that were like me. I am making up for lost time, thank you so much for your beautiful poem.
Thanks so much for your beautiful comment. I have no doubt that you will help other mums in ways you are yet to even realise. Its a tricky path we walk at times but its a wonderful one too C x
Just a message to say your poem of thoughts emotions tears and Love for your son made me cry!!! So very touching Charlie. My daughter has ALL Leukemia and Yours words Inspire me x
Thanks so much. Sending you all lots of love and strength xx
I came across your poem on Facebook and wanted to thank you. It validates everything I am feeling and thinking so far on this journey with my daughter. She has epilepsy. We spent the first 2 mo of her life in and out of hospitals and will continue for the forseeable future. We arent sure what her life will look like and accepting that has been difficult. Thank you for your vulnerability and for going ahead of us on a similar journey and choosing to share. ❤
Thanks so much. I’m really glad it helped and wish you all the very best on your journey xx
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u r lovely mum charlie this poem makes feel very happy and from my depth of my heart i really loved it so much alots because u have lovely boys they r precious to u in ur life really i love them so much in my bottom of my heart thanks for sharing this awesome story poem as well about altered life this will be succeesful in everything u r doing really im very excited to hear this all
Stunning words, Charlie. You’re a very talented lady x
Thank you very much xx
Wonderful words spoken and written by a hero
Thank you so much C x
You’ve summed up being a mum to a special needs child so beautifully. Thank you for sharing this xx
Thanks so much! Cx
Wish you the best
And thanks for spreading hope and joy
Thank you so much!