One of my favourite parts of pregnancy was the afternoon granny naps! That hour of guilt free dribbling on the sofa cushion after watching some trashy daytime TV. Bliss. So, you can imagine how annoyed I was when I was woken suddenly on the 29^th June with what can only be described as a leakage between the legs. My waters had broken. We dashed off to the hospital full of excitement despite the fact that I was only 32 weeks pregnant. Elephant girl here felt like I had been pregnant forever.  I simply couldn’t wait to meet the two little acrobats that had been performing in my uterus! The babies were on their way!

Do you think its just pee madam?

The nurse at the hospital queried whether I had just peed myself but I knew what the felt like (I was 15 at the time, drunk on diamond white cider and laughed till I pissed in my shell suit in the middle of a field miles from home) and this was different. Sure enough, on inspection, my front waters had broken but it was decided to keep me in and see if anything developed overnight. My contractions began around midnight and got stronger and stronger. Gas and air was useless. Pethidine made me hallucinate that I was walking the ceilings, at least I hope it was a hallucination, and by the hazy dawn I was getting ready to have some babies. Several internal examinations got me all excited (not like that!) because baby one was head down and ready for launching.

Change of plan.

However, at around 5.30am the midwife realised the head was a bum and I was prepared for an emergency caesarean. Disappointed doesn’t even come close to how I felt. I had wanted the elation, even the pain of a natural delivery – the badge of honour. Hell, I was even ready for perineum stitches and piles but it wasn’t to be. My children were coming through the sunroof and there was nothing I could do about it. I’m not going to lie, I felt like a failure but the babies safety came first so with a heavy heart I called Mark and he arrived just as I was going into theatre. He was gowned up and I lay beneath the blue screen in front of me waiting for the Punch and Judy show to begin. I didn’t feel being cut open but I did feel the rummaging – much like someone doing the washing up in my stomach and in no time at all the registrar declared “this one’s got three legs!” followed by another boy.

Elephant becomes Mother!

Two boys. I was a mother! My babies were both tiny at just 3lb 9oz each so they were whisked away to special care but not before Mark had a quick peek at his Sons first. Baby three legs gurning and baby two with his face partly covered. Mark says now that he thought it was odd but dismissed it to focus on the realisation that were parents at last and on cloud nine!! But while I had known what went in, must come out…we were about to find out that what goes up…must come down.

Chat soon

Charlie xx

If you would like to read the first chapter of my book, out soon, click here for a free download.