I was totally unprepared to become Mother to a child with additional needs. Having looked after myself through a very happy and healthy pregnancy I didn’t expect anything other than a ‘normal’ baby (or pair of them as I had twins!) I didn’t ever imagine I would have a life any different to the lives my friends were living with their babies.
Having a baby with a rare cranio-facial condition and later a diagnosis of global learning delay and autism, shook the very foundation of who I believed I was. I didn’t cope very well at all. * Understatement* I was lost in my own life.
In ‘A Mother Lost & Found’ I share my most intimate thoughts, fears and joys. Its not all doom and gloom, I promise, but I think its really important to be honest. I write for the mother I was right at the beginning in the hope that I can offer some hope, encouragement and support to anyone else in a similar place. I was lost but now I am found. I hope to help other parents find their way too.
“And one day she discovered that she was fierce, and strong, and full of fire, and that not even she could hold herself back because her passion burned brighter than her fears” ~ Mark Antony
You have been cooking your baby nicely for many months now. You are excited and nervous in equal measure, wondering how life will change. But you are sure of one thing. You are going to love this baby more than you have ever loved anyone or anything before it. You...read more
I don’t remember much about the first time I saw my babies. I think I had been in a numb daze. Still shocked and trying to process it all. Trying to wake myself up from the news which had just turned our world upside down. I certainly didn't feel like a Mum yet! I was...read more
Common mental health beliefs include that there is absolutely no need to become depressed if you notice the signs and do something proactive to help – exercise, socialise, laugh with friends! Anxiety is simply a state of mind and people can “shake it off” if they...read more
We were parents! Our lives had changed forever. Mark had gone to make all the customary phone calls to announce the safe arrival of the boys and I, apparently, was snoring like a warthog on the ward. Sexy! The moment. When Mark came back, the Doctor joined us with a...read more
One of my favourite parts of pregnancy was the afternoon granny naps! That hour of guilt free dribbling on the sofa cushion after watching some trashy daytime TV. Bliss. So, you can imagine how annoyed I was when I was woken suddenly on the 29th June with what can...read more
Once I got my head around the idea of carrying twins, I felt mega smug! Whilst other mere mortals were cooking one baby at a time I had two camped out in my uterus. Go me! However, I soon realised that multiple pregnancies were a thing of fascination for others and...read more
I am not a fan of finding out about pregnancies too early. It makes me sympathize with an elephant whose pregnancy lasts for two years. The sooner you know, the longer it feels. It turns out that I was only 3 weeks pregnant when we found out. The sperm had barely...read more
Mark and I had decided that we wanted to create a little person of our own but I’d been on the pill for over ten years so we expected it might take a bit of trying. I came off the pill and with two years until our wedding we said we would relax and let nature take its...read more