I was totally unprepared to become Mother to a child with additional needs. Having looked after myself through a very happy and healthy pregnancy I didn’t expect anything other than a ‘normal’ baby (or pair of them as I had twins!) I didn’t ever imagine I would have a life any different to the lives my friends were living with their babies.
Having a baby with a rare cranio-facial condition and later a diagnosis of global learning delay and autism, shook the very foundation of who I believed I was. I didn’t cope very well at all. * Understatement* I was lost in my own life.
In ‘A Mother Lost & Found’ I share my most intimate thoughts, fears and joys. Its not all doom and gloom, I promise, but I think its really important to be honest. I write for the mother I was right at the beginning in the hope that I can offer some hope, encouragement and support to anyone else in a similar place. I was lost but now I am found. I hope to help other parents find their way too.
“And one day she discovered that she was fierce, and strong, and full of fire, and that not even she could hold herself back because her passion burned brighter than her fears” ~ Mark Antony
I was super smug to think that I was cooking not one but two tiny people in my uterus in 2005. Excitement turned to nerves once I realised that as much I was loving carrying them, they’d have to come out at some point (I’m a bright woman and do know that you can’t...read more
Dear Broken Mother. I promise you won't always feel this lost. Here you are in a life you never signed up for and you feel broken. Few people see it. They see your smile and your strength. They see a wonderful mother with a quiet, patient understanding. They see...read more
Every time I went for a pregnancy scan I was excited. I was cooking not one but two little people (insert smug emoji face) and I loved seeing their tiny bodies on the screen before me and hearing the rhythm of their drumming heart beats. Never, not once did I imagine...read more
I had never ever imagined life as the mother of a special needs baby. My pregnancy was a great and healthy one and I expected nothing but two happy healthy bundles of joy when I delivered my twins (by emergency c-section, 8 weeks early but that’s a whole other blog)...read more
You may or may not know that my son Harry was born with a very rare cranio facial condition which we had no idea about until he was born. Read about the moment that life changed forever to understand the impact of that news. His syndrome is called Goldenhar and is...read more
I'm just going to make one thing clear before I begin. Three reasons why I can't die isn't a tale of superhuman strength or marvel hero invincibility (just in case you thought you were indeed reading the blog of super girl). It's more the darkest fear of a mother...read more
You have been cooking your baby nicely for many months now. You are excited and nervous in equal measure, wondering how life will change. But you are sure of one thing. You are going to love this baby more than you have ever loved anyone or anything before it. You...read more
I don’t remember much about the first time I saw my babies. I think I had been in a numb daze. Still shocked and trying to process it all. Trying to wake myself up from the news which had just turned our world upside down. I certainly didn't feel like a Mum yet! I was...read more
Common mental health beliefs include that there is absolutely no need to become depressed if you notice the signs and do something proactive to help – exercise, socialise, laugh with friends! Anxiety is simply a state of mind and people can “shake it off” if they...read more