I was totally unprepared to become Mother to a child with additional needs. Having looked after myself through a very happy and healthy pregnancy I didn’t expect anything other than a ‘normal’ baby (or pair of them as I had twins!) I didn’t ever imagine I would have a life any different to the lives my friends were living with their babies.

Having a baby with a rare cranio-facial condition and later a diagnosis of global learning delay and autism, shook the very foundation of who I believed I was. I didn’t cope very well at all. * Understatement* I was lost in my own life.

In ‘A Mother Lost & Found’ I share my most intimate thoughts, fears and joys. Its not all doom and gloom, I promise, but I think its really important to be honest. I write for the mother I was right at the beginning in the hope that I can offer some hope, encouragement and support to anyone else in a similar place. I was lost but now I am found. I hope to help other parents find their way too.

“And one day she discovered that she was fierce, and strong, and full of fire, and that not even she could hold herself back because her passion burned brighter than her fears” ~ Mark Antony

What ‘not coping’ looked like for me

I often open my blogs by explaining that I didn’t cope particularly well with Harrys diagnosis at birth but I have realised that I haven’t really explained what that looked like for me. On the surface I looked like I had it all together and everyone thought I was...

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7 stages of reacting to a child’s diagnosis

The psychology graduate in me is fascinated with people in general, why we behave the way we do, how two people can be affected completely differently by the same situation, why one person may become a successful entrepreneur and why one may kill. I love those things...

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7 things that parents of premature babies find hard

I was 5 weeks pregnant when I found out was expecting twins. So, by the time my waters broke at 32 weeks I had felt like id been pregnant forever and all I could think was “I’m going to meet my babies at last!” It never really occurred to me to be concerned that they...

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Caesarean birth stories – Do they count?

I was super smug to think that I was cooking not one but two tiny people in my uterus in 2005. Excitement turned to nerves once I realised that as much I was loving carrying them, they’d have to come out at some point (I’m a bright woman and do know that you can’t...

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Do I wish I’d known about my baby’s facial disfigurement?

Every time I went for a pregnancy scan I was excited. I was cooking not one but two little people (insert smug emoji face) and I loved seeing their tiny bodies on the screen before me and hearing the rhythm of their drumming heart beats. Never, not once did I imagine...

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Why I won’t be giving hope to new SEN parents

You may or may not know that my son Harry was born with a very rare cranio facial condition which we had no idea about until he was born. Read about the moment that life changed forever to understand the impact of that news. His syndrome is called Goldenhar and is...

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3 Reasons why I can’t die.

I'm just going to make one thing clear before I begin. Three reasons why I can't die isn't a tale of superhuman strength or marvel hero invincibility (just in case you thought you were indeed reading the blog of super girl). It's more the darkest fear of a mother...

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