I was totally unprepared to become Mother to a child with additional needs. Having looked after myself through a very happy and healthy pregnancy I didn’t expect anything other than a ‘normal’ baby (or pair of them as I had twins!) I didn’t ever imagine I would have a life any different to the lives my friends were living with their babies.

Having a baby with a rare cranio-facial condition and later a diagnosis of global learning delay and autism, shook the very foundation of who I believed I was. I didn’t cope very well at all. * Understatement* I was lost in my own life.

In ‘A Mother Lost & Found’ I share my most intimate thoughts, fears and joys. Its not all doom and gloom, I promise, but I think its really important to be honest. I write for the mother I was right at the beginning in the hope that I can offer some hope, encouragement and support to anyone else in a similar place. I was lost but now I am found. I hope to help other parents find their way too.

“And one day she discovered that she was fierce, and strong, and full of fire, and that not even she could hold herself back because her passion burned brighter than her fears” ~ Mark Antony

Now that I understand. A poem by Charlie Beswick

This isn’t the baby I dreamed of This isn’t the life I had planned I think you have made a mistake here I really just don’t understand I don’t think I’m up to the job spec A baby like this needs much more Than a woman whose mind is a ship wreck And a heart that is...

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What I failed to see when I saw my son

I felt very blessed to be expecting twins and had a fairy tale future lined up for us all even before my babies arrived in the world. It turned out that my fairy tale would instead be somewhat of a Tim Burton production – a bit dark, pretty weird at times but a...

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Our autism stories ~ where it all began

Autism is a funny thing. Not funny haha – well actually, sometimes its funny haha, but funny in a peculiar way in that there are some common aspects and yet every child with autism presents it slightly differently. If Autism was a song on the X factor, each child...

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What ‘not coping’ looked like for me

I often open my blogs by explaining that I didn’t cope particularly well with Harrys diagnosis at birth but I have realised that I haven’t really explained what that looked like for me. On the surface I looked like I had it all together and everyone thought I was...

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7 stages of reacting to a child’s diagnosis

The psychology graduate in me is fascinated with people in general, why we behave the way we do, how two people can be affected completely differently by the same situation, why one person may become a successful entrepreneur and why one may kill. I love those things...

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7 things that parents of premature babies find hard

I was 5 weeks pregnant when I found out was expecting twins. So, by the time my waters broke at 32 weeks I had felt like id been pregnant forever and all I could think was “I’m going to meet my babies at last!” It never really occurred to me to be concerned that they...

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Caesarean birth stories – Do they count?

I was super smug to think that I was cooking not one but two tiny people in my uterus in 2005. Excitement turned to nerves once I realised that as much I was loving carrying them, they’d have to come out at some point (I’m a bright woman and do know that you can’t...

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